I have been trying to do at least one thing, every day, that scares me. That I'd always feared before. Because I just got sick of living in fear and hesitancy. It is not a fun place to be.
You know how when you get a baby plant, and every few months or so you have to move it to a bigger pot for it to grow and flourish? Well, that's how I am feeling, or started to feel, a few months ago, rather. That I had mastered the whole "bloom where you are planted" thing, and had outgrown my pot. I needed to move to a bigger pot, and my, how I've flourished. I feel so much more colorful, and cultured, and have, and still am, growing into the person I was meant to be!
Now, don't get confused, I still love Medford and everyone there. I mean it is my hometown, there'll always be a place in my heart for it. But, right now in my life, I believe that I need to explore my options, learn new things, and go where God takes me. I could be mistaken but, I am getting the feeling that he won't be taking me back to Medford for awhile : ) and I'm okay with that, bring it on!! ; )
This morning I woke up to Riley saying "you need to wake up, someone hit your car." I shot out of bed, looked out the window and sure enough, there was a lady standing by her, TRUCK, her big ol' dodge ram. She backed into the side of my car and dented the door. And it won't open. Awesome. Sooo we exchange our info, she apologizes and we go our separate ways. Now, today I will be dealing with that. Yay. ; )
This week Riley and I are house sitting his friends Thomas and Carries house. It's a nice, big house, with a nice yard, two cats and a very well put together and pretty back deck. It will give me time, and space, to gather my thoughts, get straightened out with God, and rest...
The past week or so I have been thinking a lot more about life, my life. And where to go from here, my plan, Gods plan, my path...and yes, the Devil has been coming in and giving me some not so positive thoughts, some fears, some stress...i would have to say that it was at it's worst this past Friday and Saturday. Which, it is completely unnecessary and just plain not okay for the Devil to do that, let alone me allow him to. So I have been coming against him, refusing to let that negativity in my life and my thoughts.
To make matters worse, because I have been so preoccupied and having such a good time, I haven't been able to stay connected with my parents as often as I'd like to, or need to, rather. So I haven't been getting my daily dose of their wisdom, reassurance and "it'll be okays"
I have been so very grateful of everyone here's support and love, but let's face it. Mommy's and Daddy's sit on a whole different level : )
I was able to talk to my mom yesterday, as I was sitting on the beach, drinking my cranberry and lime. And she told me that at church yesterday, Ilean (Riley's mom) came to her and said she had a word for me, a revelation. She said, "tell Reilly that everything will be okay, everything will work out, and that she is on the right track. And tell her not to worry or stress. That God is hard at work in her life and to have faith that everything will happen the way it's supposed to."
I can't tell you how much of a relief I felt because of that. God is so amazing, he works through the most unexpected people, at the most unexpected times. Right at the moment that I'm feeling most "alone" and worried about the way things are going, or supposed to go, he goes and throws me a little reassurance, just the right amount. Exactly what I needed.
Friday night, Riley and I went on a fancy date with his good friends, Derek and his wife Caitlin. We all dressed up, the boys in their suits and us girls in our dresses and heels. We had a limo for the whole night, went to an awesome restaurant called The Crabs Claw right on the beach and had steak and Lobster. It was so amazing, I could definitely get used to that. It was such a special and fun night.
So, I'm realizing that, there are only a few more months left of "travel" time, before fall/winter starts setting in, that was one thing I failed to keep in the front of my mind. So, I am going to try and fit as much in as possible within these next few months. Starting with a trip down to Charleston, South Carolina/JesupMykel and her family (and possibly I), may go to Florida in July, then after that is when I will start planning my trip up north, up the East Coast, to see New York, Washington D.C. etc...Then back here to North Carolina. I do believe that whatevers supposed to happen will, and that God has a perfect plan set out for me, now, it's just a matter of not letting the stress of not knowing what's going to happen, get to me. This trip has widely strengthened my faith factor. And my relationship with God. I am so happy about it, and so glad about all these wonderful changes but let me tell you, it can still get overwhelming at times!
Yesterday, while on the phone with my mom, she said something to me that clicked. She said, "you have to figure out what you want, what you desire, and then go from there" and it got me to thinking, it really is that simple isn't it? Theres a saying my mom always says too, "desire reveals design, design reveals destiny." And I would have to say that that simple little quote that she has been saying ever since I can remember, has helped me through a lot of decision making processes. Because, think about it. Desire, reveals design....and design reveals destiny. There is a reason we have the desires, or dreams that we have. God made us, He put them there, and we are meant to play them out in our lives.
So, if you have a desire to see this place, or you feel like you are meant to be with this person, or you want to get your pilots license. go, do it. Make it happen. The desire is there for a reason.
And most importantly, let God do the driving. He knows where he's going.
"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly"
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